A crow in need
by Justmyworld722
Summary: When something unthinkable happens to Hinata, the consequences will threaten to break him down for good, starting by taking away the spark in his eyes and making him doubt he can continue to play volleyball at all. When his friends notice, will they be able to help? Expect angst and hurt/comfort. Lots of volleyball!
1. Prologue

**This is my first Haikyuu fanfic ever, so I'm a bit nervous to see how it turns out.**

**I should probably warn you that English isn't my first language so please excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes I might make. On the other side though, I am a volleyball player myself so you can expect the description of games and practices to be fairly accurate (at least I hope they are. I leave the room open for mistakes to be made on that department as well)**

**Also, I have no idea how the Japannese culture really works. My only knowledge of it is what comes directly out of the few animes I've watched. Haikyuu included. So, if you find americanisms please try to overlook them. Remember this is a work of fiction. **

**IMPORTANT: this story will contain mature themes like sexual assault and the aftermath of it. If this is something that triggers you, please proceed with caution. I tend to make very detailed descriptions so the scenes will be explicit when they come. When they do, I'll make sure to change the rating of the story.**

**On another note: I am a total fan of KageHina but I'm not sure if this story is headed that way. I guess it will depend on how the events unfold and maybe on how many requests there are for them to end up together. Rest assured though that they'll be close in this story and if not on a romantic way (which, like I said, still remains to be seen) then KageHina will most definitely be present in a bromance sort of way. **

**And last, but not least: requests are always welcome! As much as comments and constructive criticism. Reviews will be much appreciated.**

**Sorry for the long note! I hope you like this chapter. It's only the prologue, so the chapters to come should be longer.**

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**CHAPTER 1: PROLOGUE**

20 - 18

Karasuno was down by two points. The other team had just scored another point by blocking Hinata's attack. Again.

_Too small_.

Nishinoya apologized for not saving the ball on time.

Daichi clapped him on the back encouraging to try one more time.

Tanaka bumped him on the shoulder with a fist but said nothing as he resumed his position.

Asahi may have said something but Hinata wasn't paying attention to him. He had his eyes fixed on the other team's middle blocker who was high fiving the rest of his teammates with a smirk on his face.

Kageyama walked quickly over to him and apologized for not managing to open a hole in their rival's defense.

Hinata sighed.

_Too small_.

The whistle blew a high pitched signal and Hinata was ripped from his stupor when the new service came flying their way. It went straight to their libero's arms.

_Good. It didn't come to me_.

"Good receive!" someone yelled. Could've been their setter. Could've been their coach. Hinata didn't really care.

The ball was starting to reach Kageyama's hands, making Hinata take a couple of steps back to gain some momentum for his run. The movement was almost instinctual by now. Hinata didn't have to think about it to do it.

The toss went to Tanaka.

Relief.

_He'll be able to score._

20 - 19

One more point and they would reach the tie.

Hinata felt a pair of eyes on him and he locked his gaze on Kageyama, who wasn't celebrating Tanaka's incredible spike with the other guys but was instead looking at him with something aching to confusion in his eyes. Or maybe it was annoyance. It was hard to tell with him.

Hinata hadn't asked for the toss. He'd ran, he'd jumped but he hadn't asked for the ball.

_Next time_, he silently promised his setter.

It was Daichi's time to serve.

Hinata blew out an annoyed breath. He was waiting for the moment he had to serve so he could just switch places with Nishinoya. With the score as high as it was, it was unlikely he'd have time to come back to the game. Once he was out, he didn't think Tsukishima would have time to serve before the game was over. But there were still two rotations left for that.

That's when Hinata remembered that their libero had just switched places with Tsukishima, so it wouldn't be his turn to step out any time soon.

He sighed.

The whistle blew again and their captain served the ball right after Kageyama whispered to Hinata to be ready.

The other team received without difficulty and all their spikers got ready to jump. Hinata wasn't sure where the attack would come from.

He had to wait. Wait, wait and see where the toss would end up.

_There!_ In the middle. The tall guy that had managed to block so many of his attacks was already jumping in the air.

He was so tall.

_Too small._

The memory made him wince.

Hinata jumped but his fingers barely managed to touch the ball before it smashed into Karasuno's side of the court. Nishinoya didn't get there in time. Daichi was too far away. Asahi didn't even react.

It was Hinata's fault. He hadn't been able to block the ball.

21 - 19

The other team rotated.

One of them got ready to serve.

The whistle blew.

Hinata was blocked again.

They'd managed to receive and organize the play but he wasn't able to go through the defense on the other side of the net.

Hinata's heart wasn't even beating that fast, his breathing wasn't hard. He landed swiftly back on the floor to stare again at the smirk directed his way.

"Oi! Get out of your head! Work around the block" Kageyama ordered. Hinata just nodded.

The score was now 22 - 19. Things weren't looking up for them.

But the team had gotten out of tighter spots before, right? Hinata was sure his team would tip the score in their favor once Tsukishima came back to the court. He was sure of it.

22 - 20

Asahi got them a point with an attack from behind the attack line.

_One more rotation and it'll be my turn to serve._

The next point lasted an eternity.

A powerful serve from Tanaka managed to reach the other's team setter, so their libero had to step in but his toss was slightly short and away from the net.

"Free ball!" Nishinoya yelled, getting quickly behind the ball to deliver it to Kageyama.

Asahi was now up front, asking for the ball and hitting it with incredible force.

The other team connected and organized their own attack.

Hinata couldn't reach the block this time either but Daichi was in the path of the attack and managed to keep it from hitting the ground.

Hinata started running. _Avoid the block. Work around the block._

What if I just dink over the block?

But the toss went back to their Ace whose yell had convinced Kageyama to give him the ball again.

They won the point.

22 - 21

"Alright!"

"Yeah!"

"Let's go! One more!"

His teammates were on fire.

Tanaka served again.

"Nice serve!"

The other team received and attacked the ball back to them. Daichi sent it flying towards their setter.

Hinata counted the seconds. He wanted to time his jump right.

_Avoid the block._

_Avoid the block._

_There!_

He just needed to go behind Kageyama and make a wide jump near the right antenna.

Asahi asked for the ball again. So did Tanaka who wanted to attack from behind.

Kageyama went after the pass that hadn't quite reached his position near the net. This was a play they'd done thousands of time. It was actually their most efective one because no one ever believed Kageyama could deliver him the ball slightly from behind when he was already in the air. But it worked every time. It was _their_ signature attack. Hinata was sure he would manage to score a point for their team this time.

He was still running, beginning to bend his body down to spike and jump into the air but a shadow crossed his vission and Hinata looked up sharply.

He had a two men block in front of him.

_Work around the block._

Hinata had enough presence of mind still to realize that even though the defense had discovered their play, they were a few seconds late on their position. Hinata had encountered himself under similar circumstances before. He could, in fact, work around the block.

But the moment his eyes locked on the long arms reaching to interrupt his view, Hinata froze.

_You're so small_.

The words echoed in his mind.

Hinata didn't jump.

But Kageyama had already jumped himself, his hands posed to connect with the ball and send it towards him.

Everyone gasped as the ball sailed above his head to end up bouncing untouched to the floor.

This time Hinata was breathing heavily but it wasn't due to exhertion. He straightened up and faced the wall that still towered over him, the players too shoked themselves to put their arms down even thought the referee had already raised his arm towards their side of the court.

23 - 21

"Hinata, are you okay?"

Daichi asked, his face a mixture of anger and worry.

"You'll get the next one Hinata"

Nishinoya said in a small voice, still too shocked about what had happened.

"What on earth is wrong with you!"

Hinata flinched at hearing Kageyama's voice louder than everyone else's.

He turned around to see the setter murdering him with the way he was looking at him.

Hinata was sure Kageyama had a lot more he wanted to say but the setter got interrupted by the sound of a whistle. Hinata was ready to go back to his position to resume the game when he noticed his teammates' crestfallen expressions. They were looking dumbfounded at something behind him.

Hinata turned slowly and was greeted with the image of thick black numbers on a small white board.

10.

His number.

Narita was waiting at the edge of the court for the exchange to be made.

Hinata let out a sigh and walked with heavy feet to the edge of the court where he took his number from Narita's hand and stepped beyond the white line that now separated him from the game.

The gym was in eerie silence before the referee blew the whistle again and the game was renewed.

But Hinata wasn't thinking about the game anymore.

He didn't hear the rest of his teammates offering encouragement when he joined them a few feet outside the court. He didn't feel Sugawara's hand on his shoulder or see the concerned look sent his way from the gray haired boy. He just took his place behind them all and focused his gaze on the ground.

_Too small._

_You're so, so small_. The voice kept taunting him.

Hinata clenched his fists while everyone else went back to watching the game.

_You're so small Hinata. So small_.

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**And there's that!**

**I hope you guys liked the chapter and are maybe a bit curious of what the rest of the story will bring.**

**If you are, please let me know and, having already let out a few pointers as to what happens in this story, if there are any particular scenes you'd like to read, feel free to ask them and I'll do everything I can to make them fit the story so I can deliver.**

**If you decide to stick with me for the time being: welcome! Welcome to an emotional rollercoaster of angst and hurt/comfort. And thank you for giving this story a chance**.


	2. Of history lessons

**Welcome back to another chapter. Thank you for giving this story a chance.**

**I apologize if the starting of this story is a little slow but I need to set the scenario for the plot to develope. Also, I'm gonna need some chapters to get the feel of the characters because it's the first time I write in their perspective. I've only recently come accross the anime and, of course, the fandom. I hope you can be patient with me.**

**Now, let's see what this new chapter brings us today.**

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**CHAPTER 2: … and cutting off wings.**

Contrary to how almost everyone around his age normally felt, Hinata didn't really hate school. At least not until _that_ day.

Granted, he didn't like studying. In fact, he considered it a modern form of torture that adults often forgot they once used to hate as much as he did too. But Hinata didn't hate the building itself or the fact he had to get up early every morning to pedal his way through a freaking mountain to get there.

It was true. The red head was used to early wake up calls from his alarm by now and the prospect of what awaited him at the other side of the mountain every morning was enough fuel to help him get through the physical exhertion.

_Volleyball_.

Hinata would do anything for volleyball, so having morning practice every day before class was just an added bonus to an already incredibly not terrible school experience.

And apart from all that, because volleyball was _everything_ to him, Hinata got to spend time with his teammates and friends. He'd eat lunch with someone different every day because that's just how sociable he was. Somedays it'd be Yachi he'd spent all lunch break talking to, or his partner in crime (ehem, volleyball) Kageyama who usually didn't speak much but made for an excellent listener, if he wasn't insulting Hinata every five minutes that is. Sometimes he'd even skip buildings to find Tanaka or Nishinoya, his senpais always ready to welcome him to eat lunch with them. Other times Hinata would just pick a random person eating alone at a classroom desk and introduce himself, asking if he could join in.

All in all, you could say that the middle blocker of the Karasuno volleyball team, the first year named Hinata Shouyou, actually enjoyed school.

So, back to _that_ day.

He'd started that day blissfully ignorant of the events that would transpire later on, a smile on his face as he raced Kageyama to the changing room to get ready for practice. Their captain had long ago given the setter the key to the place, given how early the two of them always got there. The fact he'd lost the race to the dark haired boy not managing to put a damper on his mood because soon enough they would begin tossing a ball back and forth between them to warm up before they got to practice Hinata's spike and Kageyama's tosses.

Life was good.

Life was really good, specially when he found himself in the middle of a spike, his hand ready for the afterburn sensation that always accompanied a perfect hit and a grin on his face when he felt he could fly, even if it was for only a couple of seconds, just the amount of time it took for him to lift off the floor in a powerful jump and for Kageyama to deliver the ball exactly where he needed it to slam his hand down and send it flying towards the other side of the net, that oh so invigorating view that he loved getting a glimpse off.

Hinata couldn't have realized that would be the last time he'd smile for a very long time.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Practice had been over too quickly and soon the boys of the Karasuno volleyball team had gone their separate ways to spend the next several hours in their respective classes trying and mostly failing, at least on Hinata's case, to learn something useful for life. Though how burying his nose in a history book would serve his future, Hinata had no idea.

He still did his best though, because good grades meant he didn't have to skip any volleyball training camp and he wouldn't fall behind on his training. He couldn't let any of the other boys get ahead of him and he wasn't going to lose and be taken off the court because he was lagging his form. If he did, he'd never hear the end of it, specially from Kageyama. Not that he had anything to worry about because he'd promised himself and the setter that he wouldn't lose against him and he'd do anything in his power to stay on the court with him because their game was way better when they played together and that awesome quick spike they'd managed to master always made his mind go GUWAHH while the ball did FUMMM and Kageyama would twist his face into a smirk while he threw his fist in the air and go all YEAH!-

"Hinata? Hinata, would you please pay attention to what I'm saying once in a while?" his thoughts had been interrupted, the sound of a few snickers reaching him all the way from the back of the classroom which had made a light blush creep up his face.

"S-sorry, what was the question again?" his teacher had sighed in resignation. Daydreaming was just such a typical Hinata thing to do.

"Could you please read paragraph 4C of page 78?" Hinata hurried to find the text.

"Ah yeah, yes. Yes, Miss"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Lunch hour couldn't have come fast enough.

Hinata had been waiting impatiently for the bell to ring so he could grab his things and sprint out of the room, his rumbling stomach following suit.

"Don't run Hinata!"

But the red head had been already out of earshot.

He'd wanted to reach the building that held the second years so he would have enough time to talk and have lunch with his friends.

"Aren't you guys excited for the next friendly match?" he had asked once Tanaka and Nishinoya had made room for him on their desks to place his lunch box.

"We've never played against that team before, so we better be ready" Nishinoya had commented in an uncharacteristic serious manner. The short haired boy, though, hadn't had qualms about loudly expressing his thoughts.

"We will squash them under our feet! We will wipe the floor with their tears! We will- _ow!_"

"No need to get all dramatic Tanaka" the libero had chastised after slapping the back of the other boy's head "Besides, it's called _friendly_ for a reason"

Hinata couldn't do anything but laugh. Although he had internally agreed with his senpai. There was no way Karasuno would lose their upcoming game against their unknown rival. They'd been working too hard for that.

The rest of his lunch hour had passed in pretty much the same manner. Hinata and Tanaka disscusing what they'd do to celebrate their win and Nishinoya chastising them because there were still two weeks left for the game and it was useless to think about those things now.

Then the bell had rang and that's when things had stated to go wrong for Hinata.

"Shoot, I'm gonna be late. See you at practice!"

Hinata had meant to go back to his building before the bell rang because the urgent need to pee had stricken half way through lunch but now he'd be lucky if he made it in time to avoid his teacher telling him off for being late.

_Maybe if I go here._

But no matter what bathroom he chose to go to, he'd be late either way. So the question wasn't where to go but if he could hold it enough until next period or not.

He'd stood outside the bathroom of the second floor in the second years' building for the exact amount of ten seconds before deciding he wouldn't have been able to survive another hour without relieving himself.

So he'd chosen to be late instead, rushing into the empty bathroom, everyone having already done their business before going back to class.

He'd meant to be quick, and he had been, his hands redoing the button of his school uniform pants before unlocking the stall door, but that was before the door was roughly pushed inward and a giant shadow fell upon him.

_Contrary to how almost everyone around his age normally felt, Hinata didn't really hate school. At least not until _that_ day. _

A day that had more than just threatened to rip him of his innocence. A day that made Hinata Shouyou's wings, the ones he'd barely started to spread since he'd joined the Karasuno volleyball team, feel like they'd been violently cut off his back.

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**I'm not in love with the ending but I decided to post it either way because I didn't want to wait another few days to post the new chapter.**

**I promise things will move along plot-wise once I set the stage for the events to unfold. **

**Also, Kageyama on the next chapter! Yeeeeyyyy!**

**Again, thank you so much for your patience and for having clicked on this story in the first place.**

**So, any thoughts on what's been posted so far? I'd love to know your opinion.**

**I'll go write the next chapter now!**


	3. Of learning about friendship

**Yes people: another chapter is up! This time with some input on Kageyama's thoughts on the situation. This is the last chapter I'm gonna use to set the stage, so you can expect things to pick up the rhythm after this.**

**To those of you who have reviewed or favorited this story: thank you! You are amazing and I can only hope the story is interesting enough to maintain your attention.**

**I'm sorry for any mistakes made. Right now I'm just too laze to proof read the chapter. I just wanted to go right ahead and post it.**

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**CHAPTER 3: … and then screwing it up.**

_**::::::::::: Sometime after the game ::::::::::::**_

Contrary to what almost everyone believed, Kageyama wasn't a very confident person.

Sure, he was the epitome of self-assuredness when it came to things like volleyball, but everything else... well, it was safe to say he struggled.

He was never very good at making friends to begin with. Ever since he was a child, his innate ability to just speak the truth no matter what made the other kids steer clear of him.

Growing up he never understood what the problem was. His parents had taught him that lying wasn't a good thing to do and so he never did. He was supposed to listen to the adults and do what they said, wasn't he? It wasn't until he began to reach adolescence, when he was around twelve years old, that he realized kids usually did everything they could to go against the rules, defying the adults left and right to get away with doing what they wanted. When he finally understood that it was that behavior the one considered normal, his telling the truth policy was just too ingrained in his being to try and change it.

So Kageyama struggled.

He fought to overcome that every day growing sense of loneliness and judgment he knew he was the subject to from other people while at the same time trying to stay true to who he was. He accomplished the latter, never the first.

But one day the scale tipped in his favor when volleyball came along. He found a refugee in the sport when people began to see him as something more than the annoying kid who couldn't keep his thoughts to himself. He became the kid who, with enough training, could become a prodigy. An exceptional setter.

And so the dark haired boy found a way to balance the two opposing forces: he'd try to speak as less as possible and be as good a player as he could. That way people wouldn't reject him.

Or so he thought.

As the years went by, his peers stopped seing him through wondered eyes and began feeling jealous of his abilities as a player. Coaches and older players always praised him. He never stepped off the court in a game. He was always a starter player. But that meant other players stayed on the bench and soon that jealousy became bitter resentment and Kageyama found himself right where he'd begun: alone and rejected.

So he stopped refraining himself from his natural set up. What was the point anymore? He became a loud player, making sure to point out when the others messed up and what they had to do to improve. For all intents and purposes he became the king of the court and he was fine with it because he got to give back at least some of the backlash he'd received over the years. He started to defend himself by criticizing others, his alleged teammates, in the one thing he excelled over any one of them. Volleyball.

But then the incident happened, the one where no one even tried to jump for his toss making the coach bench him for the first time in ages and he was right back to square one: nobody wanted to play with him. Nobody wanted to be his friend.

He had to admit the experience had been life changing.

That's why when Hinata... when he didn't... when Hinata didn't jump in their last game... Kageyama didn't want to think about that.

But perhaps the life changing incident in Middle School hadn't been as life changing as getting into the Karasuno volleyball team had been in the first place.

Somehow, after a more than rocky start, the setter had found some sort of peace.

The older boys of the team, the seniors of the third year, made him feel welcome and accepted, truth policy and all. He would never forget one of the first things Daichi had ever said to him. _You say what you think, that's always good._ No one had ever praised him for that.

And Suga… that may have been the most unexpected developement of them all. Kageyama had been ready to fight for a spot on the team, to climb his way up to a starter position, having already digested the posibility of him waiting a whole year to achieve his goal because the starter setter of the Karasuno was a senior, and a co-captain at that. But the gray haired boy had simply offered his position to him. _Offered_. Kageyama hadn't taken it, he hadn't made an enemy out of Suga despite them playing the same position on the court. The older boy had stepped out for the good of the team and that was maybe the first time Kageyama began to understand what being part of a team truly meant. To put the needs of the whole above the needs of the one. It's not like he'd ever had that experiencie before.

And that's how Suga became some sort of a mentor to him, not on how to play, but on how to relate. Kageyama certainly looked up to him.

Then there were the other members of the team. Tanaka and Nishinoya always laughing with him, not _at_ him. Not that Kageyama laughed much but sometimes it happened. And Asahi was always ready to offer a kind smile and a praise for his tosses. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi weren't his favorite people in the world, but as long as he ignored them, there was no harm done.

And let's not even talk about Hinata. That annoying, restless, inmature waste of- of _something_ that barged into his life all _I'm gonna play and I'm gonna win and I won't lose to you and I'm gonna be an Ace and you just wait and GUWAHH and FUMMM and OHHH_... and that idiot just had to go and manage to hit one of his quick tosses and make him have hope again that volleyball could go back to being that exciting amazing wonderful thing, the red head inmediately starting to act as if they were the best vollayball pair ever created. And Kageyama could do nothing but hope, _hope_ that he was right.

And somehow, unexpectedly and unavertedly Hinata had become his friend. Maybe even his first true friend. Sure, they fought all the time and insulted eachother mercilessly. Kageyama yelled at him when he failed a serve or a receive, when he jumped too late or didn't manage to hit the ball. But the setter was only able to get away with it because Hinata was just as demanding as he was, having no qualms about telling him when a toss was too wide or too high, complaining loudly when Kageyama didn't toss to him and chastising him when he didn't celebrate a point properly.

And soon, without him realizing exactly how, they also became friends off the court. Hinata would sometimes seek him out during lunch or in the break between classes, or they would meet up at a park near the school to get some extra training on the weekends.

And Hinata would talk, and talk, and talk about anything and everything. And Kageyama would just listen because no one had ever taken the time or made such an effort to just talk to him.

Not that Hinata put that much effort into talking. It just came naturally to him, something Kageyama was secretely jealous of.

But the thing that drew him closer to him the most, the one thing that Kageyama truly appreciated from the little spiker, was the way he spoke the truth as well.

It was one of the few things they both had in common and yet it was something that made them totally different. Because whereas Kageyama used the truth as a defensive mechanism, Hinata had this almost childlike innocent honesty when he spoke. He just blurted out whatever was running through his mind without filter, whether that was how much he believed he'd win every competition he enrolled himself in or how good the food tasted one day or how much he wished he could be taller but at the same time how much he liked proving to everyone who underestaimated him that his height wasn't an obstacle when it came to volleyball.

They hadn't even known each other for half a year yet and Kageyama already knew Hinata's opinion on basically everything. Food, friends, school, food, volleyball, food, his family, their oponents on the court. Did he mention food? Yes, food.

All in all, you could say that Kageyama Tobio, the starter setter of the Karasuno volleyball team, had finally learned how to be a good teammate and good friend.

But it wasn't until Hinata, whom he'd almost even started to consider his best friend, started acting… off, that he learned how very much he wasn't a good friend. Not at all. Because if Kageyama had been a good friend, he would've done something by now. He wouldn't have waited all this time to make a decision and find out what was bothering Hinata.

And it had all started _that_ day.

Kageyama wasn't sure what was it about that particular day, other than the events of that afternoon practice, of course, but he knew it had all started with it. Thinking about it, and he had really thought about it a lot, dedicated hours and hours to just trying to understand what had gone wrong with his friend, Kageyama could only conclude that even since before practice had started, Hinata hadn't been acting like himself.

And it had been three weeks now!

And now, almost a week after the game, Kageyama was still having trouble admitting to himself that he'd been wrong and that maybe the way he'd reacted and lashed out at Hinata right after the game hadn't been his smartest move.

He'd been able to tell that something had been bothering his friend for some time now. But now he could see that whatever was going on with Hinata was really serious. If only he'd been able to realize it earlier, maybe he wouldn't have screwed up so much after the game.

Now Hinata had distanced himself from him, well, more than he already had in the past weeks and Kageyama didn't know how to approach his friend anymore. If the little spiker still considered them that.

Friends.

And to top it all off, they were supposed to be leaving for a training camp in Tokyo in a few days. Would Hinata even go?

Kageyama couldn't believe he'd have to endure another long week of training at odds with the other boy in the unfamiliar city. It seemed the universe always managed to make them go to such an important event only to not be able to take full advantage of it because they wouldn't even be on speaking terms with eachother.

But Kageyama couldn't affort to waste another training camp like that.

_Contrary to what almost everyone believed, Kageyama wasn't a very confident person._

He wasn't an expert on things like friendship or basic human relationships, but he'd be damned if he didn't do everything in his power to solve the situation.

He was determined to find out what was wrong with Hinata and he wouldn't quit until the other boy trusted him again both as a setter and as a friend.

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**I have to admit: I love Kageyama. I think he's such a complex character. The quiet ones always are. So I'm gonna have lots of fun writting things from his perspective. I can only hope to do him justice.**

**Next chapter things get intense, so the rating may go up. Make sure to allow your filters to show M rated stories as well or this story won't show at first sight.**

**And let me know what you thought of this chapter from Kageyama's perspective! I would love to read some feedback to make sure I'm heading in the right direction with this. So, reviews pretty pretty please?**


	4. Of being late for class

**This chapter took a bit more to post because it was a bit more elaborated and incredibly hard to write. You'll see why in a minute.**

**WARNING: this chapter containst explicit content and mature themes such as sexual assault. Please bear in mind that I did warn at the beginning of the story that things would be throughoutly described, this was what I had in mind. I am officially changing the rating of the story from T to M.**

**If I haven't spooked you away by now, thank you for continuing to give this story a chance. I would like to know your thoughts on the chapter, so make sure to leave a review before you go!**

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**CHAPTER 4: … and pretending nothing happened.**

_**::::::::::::: Two weeks before the game :::::::::::::**_

"I'm gonna be late. Gonna be late. Gonna be late…"

Hinata hummed to himself distractedly as he locked the bathroom stall and sighed when he finally relieved himself.

Why did he always get the urge to pee in the most inconvinient of times?

Now his teacher would reprimend him and probably make him stay behind to compensate for the lost time, even if it was just a few minutes.

That was the problem with wanting to have lunch with Tanaka and Nishinoya, he always had to cut the hour short to have enough time to get back to class.

Oh well, Hinata shrugged, it wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last.

When he was done, the red head made sure to flush the toilet before unlocking the door.

"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late- _hmph!_"

The door of the stall was suddenly pushed in, making Hinata lose his balance when he tried to prevent the hard material from smacking against his face. But he was too slow to understand what was happening before he felt himself being whirled around to face the opposite wall.

"Hey-mphm!" a hand was pressed against his mouth.

He didn't get a chance to see who had barged into his stall like that but whoever it was he was taller than him, not that that was any surprise, and strong. Really strong. Hinata couldn't pry the hand away from his face no matter how much he pulled at the fingers and soon he was breathing heavily from trying to dislodge the hold this person had on him.

"Be still" a cold voice said, one he didn't recognize but that sent shivers down his spine. The guy sounded old. Was he a third year?

_What's happening?_

The guy struggled in the tiny space to shut the stall door closed again. Hinata used his legs to push against the wall and slam the person back against the now closed door but the hold on him didn't budge and soon the red head was wrestled into stillness, his knees painfully stuck against the toilet and the other's body pressed flushed against his.

"Nnnggmp!"

Hinata growled and pulled against the hand clamped over his mouth again but to no avail. He didn't understand what this guy thought he was doing. Was he going to beat him up? Hinata wasn't a stranger to older boys picking on him for his size or the color of his hair. People had often made fun of him for the tone of his voice. But for things to get this physical and inside a bathroom of all places.

Shouldn't this guy be in class too?

Hinata's confused thoughts were brought back to the moment when he felt a hand sneaking around his stomach and pressing their bodies even closer. When he felt the person behind him starting to rock their bodies in a wave like manner, his brain started short circuiting.

_Wh-what? What?_

He didn't understand.

The hand around his stomach began fumbling with the recently done buttons of his trousers.

Correction: Hinata didn't _want_ to understand.

He stopped fighting against the hand on his mouth to push the other one away from his body. He continued shouting into the barrier of his mouth.

"Sh-shh. It's okay. It's gonna be okay" the tone was somehow sincere which made it all the more creepy. How was any of this okay?

When the fumbling hand on his middle finally made it inside his pants, there was no doubt in his mind about what was happening.

He renewed his efforts to dislodge the person from behind him but why wasn't it working? Hinata may not be as strong as Asahi or as tall as Tsukishima but he should be strong enough to free himself from the clutch of this horrible person.

Breathing through his nose was becoming harder the more agitated he felt. If he didn't free himself now, who knew how far the guy might go?

Maybe all he wanted was a quick grab and he'd leave him alone but the way his pants were being forced down his legs spoke of worse things to come.

"I told you to stay still!"

Hinata's body finally froze in fear when the person behind him put a hand on his private parts and squeezed painfully.

The red head yelped in pain and his legs remained shaking after that. That's why it was so easy for the other guy to manouver one of his legs to rest his foot on the toilet seat.

Hinata was gasping through his nose now.

The only person who had ever touched him in any kind of intimate manner was himself, late at night in the privacy of his bedroom when his adolescent hormones begged him to explore and take care of his physical urges. So it was safe to say that he was terrified of what was happening to him now. Why would someone do this?

_Stop. Stop!_

Hinata was begging through unrecognizable mumbles while he felt his underwear being dragged down as well. Not much but enough to leave his rear completely exposed.

Hinata renewed his struggles, pulling his briefs up at the same time the other guy pulled them down.

He thought he'd succeded when the hand fighting his left his underwear alone, but the relief was short lived when said hand clawed into his hair and pulled his head back in a tight hold. Hinata let out a muffled scream, the sting of his hair being pulled that way bringing tears to his eyes.

"If you don't stay still I'm gonna have to hurt you. How well do you think you'll play volleyball with a broken arm?"

Hinata whimpered because he was absolutely sure this person didn't just make iddle threats. His current situation was proof of that.

Hinata stopped moving.

When his underwear was completely pulled down this time, the tears that had been watering his eyes began to fall one by one.

The sound of a zipper being undone reached his ears and Hinata began to tremble.

"Quiet now" his attacker said when Hinata couldn't help the frightened sounds that scaped his mouth, specially when he felt something hard pressed against his bottom.

The red head braced his hands on the wall and whimpered again when he felt a finger running down his crack, separating his cheeks to later guide something pointy to his entrance.

Hinata wasn't stupid. He knew what was poking at him from behind and he knew how things were supposed to work. But he also knew that he didn't want this and that he was going to be in a world of pain once it happened.

_Please stop. Please. Please stop._

When the person began to work the tip of his member into Hinata's entrance, the spiker held his breath and clamped his muscles almost painfuly. He couldn't let it in.

But the guy was persistant and even one handed he was forcing himself in.

Hinata bucked his hips away on instinct dislodging what little of the other guy had managed to go inside him, but it wasn't long until he was being prodded again.

He groaned in pain when the head of the invasive member made it past the first ring of muscle and his body clamped tight around it.

Awful obscene noises were reaching him from behind and when the pain in his ass did nothing but grow, Hinata took a hand off the wall to try and push the guy away from him.

_It hurts. It hurts!_

Not matter how much the guy pushed though, his member wouldn't go all the way in. Hinata's barriers way too tight to get through.

With an annoyed grunt, his attacker pulled what little had been inside him out and Hinata had barely a second to close his eyes in relief thinking the guy had given up before pain exploded inside him again.

He opened his eyes wide when he felt what must have been a finger sliding in and out of him way easier than the guy's dick had been able to and fresh tears began to fall down his face when a second and a third finger were added.

The intrusion was painful even though the fingers seemed slick with what must have been spit. Hinata couldn't even bring himself to think of how gross that was because he was still trying to wrap his mind around the idea that he was being molested at school..

Wasn't someone going to find out? Walk in and stop this humiliating torture? Wasn't his teacher going to wonder where he was and send someone to look for him?

If he'd been late before, he was definitely in trouble now.

Wasn't anyone going to help him?

Soon enough the fingers were removed from inside him and the guy attempted to thrust his member inside him again.

Hinata got ready to reject him once more, almost unconsciously asking himself if it wouldn't be better to just let the guy have his way with him so the whole ordeal could end already, but soon he realized that even if he'd wanted to stop resisting, at least just so the pain could be less than how it already was, his body instinctively wouldn't let him.

The moment the head of his attacker's cock went inside him, Hinata's muscles clenched once more painfuly around it.

But the disgusting fingers had done their job, loosening him enough that the guy could push his way inside successfully this time and even though it was a struggle, Hinata felt the guy bury himself to the hilt inside him.

He let out a muffled scream.

It hurt so much.

The guy moved surprisingly slow. Hinata would have expected him to run his way through the process, but somehow this was even worse. This meant he wanted to enjoy it for as long as he could. There was still another hour before the next break between classes. Did this guy planned to last that long? Hinata was sure he himself wouldn't. He'd die way before then.

"So good" the guy moaned in his ear "been wanting to... for months... mnnhh... so small"

The words came in time with each thrust making the whole ordeal even more disgusting than it already was. The red head could do nothing but whimper along.

His backside burned with every merciless thrust and the hand gripping his right hip would certainly leave some impressive bruises behind.

_Make it stop, please._

Hinata wasn't sure who he was pleading to. For God to intervene and make this person decide to end this punishment? For another student to enter the bathroom and realize what was happening so he could go ask for help? For him to pass out and at least save himself the pain of living through something like this?

All he wanted was for the pain to stop.

But it didn't.

Hinata wasn't sure how much time had passed. Was it an hour yet? Barely five minutes?

He would've liked to say his body grew accostumed to the assault, that he was able to space out and at least save his mind some scarring, but it wasn't like that.

He could still feel every deep thrust as if it was the first, and listen to his attacker's voice as he let out grunts and moans and words that did nothing but make nausea stir in his stomach. The hard body pressed to his back, sweat running down his own brow. He felt disgusting.

The red head screwed his eyes shut when a particular thrust was harder than the rest.

"You're so small Hinata. So small. _So tight!_"

"_Hmph!_"

Hinata groaned in pain when the next thrust went even deeper than the last.

He felt the rhythm change and his hands slipped from their position on the wall, his body shaking from the strain. This new punishing pace went on for about another minute before Hinata felt the body behind him beginning to shake as well.

"So close, so close. Hinata!"

In that moment, Hinata hated his name.

Things reached their peak when his attacker suddenly withdrew the hand from his mouth, the red head way too stunned, hurt and out of breath to even attempt a scream and he felt the hands bending him even lower by the waist. His head almost hit the wall in front of him but he managed to press his forehead against his forearm instead.

A few more rapid thrusts and Hinata felt one last sharp pain when the guy took his member out abruptly and pumped himself a couple of times before Hinata felt something liquid and warm spraying his exposed backside.

This time it was his own hand that prevented him from letting out a sob. At least the person hadn't done it inside.

Time seemed to stand still for an eternity while his attacker got his bearings back and Hinata attempted to bring his breathing under control. He was able to pull his leg down from the toilet without any harsh comment from behind, his cramped leg complaining from having been bent in that position for so long.

Hinata wasn't sure how to proceed now. His attacker seemed to be recuperating still from his orgasm, a word that made bile rise in his throat, hands still clutching his hips in a bruising manner.

When the spiker began to think his legs would give out at any moment given how much they kept shaking, a painful pull of his hair had him yelping in misery again.

The person's face came really close to his to be able to whisper in his ear, but the hold on Hinata's hair made it impossible for him to move his head and see who it was that had... that had... he couldn't even think the word!

Fresh tears started leaking from his eyes. The guy chuckled.

"Poor small, short Hinata. Imagine what people would think if they found out what just happened?" the voice was gruff and the breaths dampening his ear where still somewhat irregular "Your team would never take you seriously again, not that anyone does. Just imagine what they would say. Imagine..."

The man didn't need to keep talking, Hinata could clearly see it in his mind.

_You're disgusting Hinata!_

_You let that happen to you?_

_You're so small Hinata!_

The moment his attacker let him go, Hinata crumbled to the floor.

The last thing he heard from his attacker was the zipper of his pants being re-done and his steps echoing out of the bathroom as he left without another word.

Hinata didn't dare look behind him to see who the person was.

He was alone again.

Now that his legs were no longer supporting him, he could see that it hadn't been just them shaking. His whole body was trembling and his hands shook when he used the toilet seat as leverage to get up from the floor. He needed to get out of there. He needed to go back to class before he got into any more trouble. He needed to get on with his day and forget about what had just happened to him because if he stopped long enough to think about it... no. He couldn't. He wasn't strong enough for that. He needed to move and he needed to move now.

But first he had to clean himself. The sticky substance sliding down on his skin made his stomach roll and reminded him he had to make himself presentable again if he didn't want anyone finding out about this.

He shakily grabbed some paper tissues from the wall and proceeded to wipe himself clean.

He wasn't sure what he had expected to see, but the mixture of white and red painting the paper was shocking either way.

There was more white than red, way more traslucent thick disgusting white than red. In fact, there weren't even more than just a few smears of blood. Should he feel relieved? Was he expecting more?

Hinata was transfixed by the sight. His vision blurred to the point all he could see were streaks of white and red and his stomach rolled even harder at his dissorientation.

He was at least fast enough to pull up the lead of the toilet seat before dumping the paper inside and then bending down to throw up what he'd just had for lunch.

The spasms of his gut were painful but quick and soon enough he had managed to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand and dress himself up again.

He flushed the toilet.

He peeked through the stall door to make sure he was in fact alone before stepping out and walking to one of the sinks, wincing as he did so.

_It still hurts_.

He bypassed looking at his reflexion on the mirror at all. He didn't need to see his misery on top of feeling it.

But he did wash his hands and face to try and erase the evidence of tears from his eyes, not that he expected to succeed. His eyes were probably all puffy and red rimmed. He'd have to think of an excuse.

Making his way back to class proved to be a difficult endeavor with having to walk slower than he usually would have and having to go up and down flights of stairs to go from one building to another. By the time he made it back, he had already missed half the lesson.

"Is this an appropriate time to be coming back from lunch?" his teacher demanded, making every pair of eyes in the room find their way to him. Hinata ignored the stares and walked quickly closer to his teacher, as quickly as he could that is, so he could whisper his answer only to her.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't feeling well and had to throw up in the bathroom. I was only able to come back now" his voice was strained both from actually throwing up and from trying to keep a lid on his emotions. He could tell his teacher had been a bit taken aback by his words and could feel her eyes roaming his face for signs of deceit.

"You don't look so well Hinata. Do you need to go to the infirmary?" her tone was genuinely worried. Something on his face must have told her he wasn't fooling around. He shook his head.

"No need, Miss. I'm better now" all he wanted to do was sit down and not think of anything for a while. If he went to the nurse he'd have to deal with questions he didn't have an answer for.

When the teacher gave him permission he went back to his desk still ignoring everyone around him.

He stiffled a hiss when he sat down on his chair and then let out an inaudible sigh when the straing of carrying him around was taken from his legs.

_It hurts so much._

Hinata wiped at his eyes when a suspicious burn made them water again and he focused on getting the notebook from his bagpack to at least attempt to learn something new and keep his mind away from what had just happened to him.

No one suspected anything. No one asked him why he looked like death warmed over. No one payed him any mind.

Good. That way he could keep pretending that nothing happened, because it was the only way he could think about to deal with the experience. All he wanted to do now was go home, shower and rest. His body definitely needed it and if he wanted his body to be in top shape for volleyball, then he have to-

His mind reeled at the thought.

Volleyball.

He still had practice today in just a few hours. He couldn't go home now, not if he didn't want his teammates to pester him about his absence demanding an explanation he couldn't give.

No, he couldn't miss practice. Missing practice meant letting everyone know something was wrong with him and he couldn't let that happen.

Not that it really mattered because he was fine. Nothing was wrong with him because nothing _had_ happened.

_Nothing happened._

He needed to convince himself and everyone else of that or he risked people turning against him. He couldn't take the risk of being kicked out of the volleyball team because he was too weak to keep playing.

No one could know the truth.

_Nothing happened._

_Nothing happened._

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**Like I said, this chapter was hard to write. My poor sunshine baby Hinata! He won't be very sunshiny for a while…**

**Now that the hard part is done, how will Hinata survive a volleyball practice? Will he succeed in making everyone think he was okay or will he continue to deny himself even the acknowledgement of what happened?**

**Stay tuned to find out! Any thoughts you'd like to share? Or maybe any request of things you'd like to see happening?**

**I'm all ears!**


	5. Of missed receives

**I'm sorry it took me so long to update. It's been a crazy week as I'm sure it has been for everybody. Make sure to stay safe people and stay at home. Here's a little something to keep ourselves occupied while we wait for the situation to get better.**

**Our poor Hinata is having a tough time in this one…**

**:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::**

**CHAPTER 5: … and painful spikes**.

Hinata made sure he was the last one to arrive at the club room.

He'd devised a plan during last period. If anyone asked, and they would ask, he'd simply say he'd been held back by the teacher who wanted to lecture him on his grades. That would earn him the healthy amount of teasing that would make everyone's attention go back to practice quickly.

But he should've known there'd be someone who'd be a little bit more difficult to deceive.

Kageyama had stayed behind in the club room waiting for him.

Hinata had a mild heart attack when he opened the door and saw the setter sitting on the bench by the lockers. He had already changed to his volleyball attire. Knee pads and everything.

"K-kageyama, what are you still doing here?"

"Waiting for you, idiot. What happened to our early start on practice?"

Crap, he'd forgotten. Which was a feat considering they always started practice by themselves at least five minutes earlier. Even if all they did was toss a ball back and forth between them, Hinata found the extra five minutes helped him get into a specific focused mindset. It was a ritual by now.

He faked a nervious laugh.

"Ehh sorry. Got held up by my teacher. I didn't think it would take so long" he ran a hand through the hair at the back of his head but winced when he touched the spot that had been so roughly pulled a few hours ago. Kageyama narrowed his eyes at him "A-anyway, you don't have to wait for me to get chaged. Go on ahead, I'll be right there"

"I don't mind"

"Really, it's okay. Just go to practice, I'll change really quickly"

"Then hurry up so we can go"

Hinata swallowed nerviously and walked further into the room. How was he going to get Kageyama out of the room without raising suspicions. Why did the setter had to be his usual stubborn kingly self right in that moment?

"Hurry up dumbass or we're going to be late for real!" the red head jumped having been broken out of his stupor. He'd reached the same bench as the setter but had stood there staring at the locker in front of him. He gripped the handle of his sports bag tighter in his hands and forced his normal cheery voice to make it past the knot in his throat.

"There's no reason for both of us to be late. I can deal with the captain's rage on my own"

"If you would just hurry up, none of us would have to be late. We're still on time"

"And if you would just stop pestering me about it I could start getting changed!"

He froze when the harsh words left his mouth. It wasn't by far the first time he snapped at Kageyama but even he could tell there had been something different in his tone of voice. Something harder and colder.

He'd felt it the moment his nerves had snapped. Panic. Kageyama's presence and insistence was making him feel panicked but he couldn't afford to lose the weak hold he'd managed to take over his dangerous emotions. He needed to remain calm. He needed to apologize.

"Okay" but Kageyama beat him to it and stood up from the bench to start walking towards the door. So he'd felt it too, the difference in his voice, the honesty behind his outburst. The words hadn't been for their bickering's sake. They'd been for real "Just hurry up already"

Hinata nodded before the door was closed after him and he began the slow process of undressing himself.

He should've been moving faster, not because he'd be late for practice but because someone might come in at any moment. It wouldn't be so out of the ordinary for someone to forget a watter bottle or a towel. He certainly did it often.

But he took his time. He needed his five minutes to concentrate on practice.

_Volleyball._

_Volleyball._

_You need to play volleyball now. Nothing else matters._

_Nothing else matters_.

He finished putting on his practice uniform and five minutes later he was walking into the gym.

As it was, coach Ukai was barely calling everyone over to start their warm ups so he wasn't officially late, just _Hinataly_ late.

He caught sight of Daichi and Kageyama whispering to themselves at one corner of the gym and Hinata could have sworn they both looked in his direction when he moved to the circle where everyone was gathering. He didn't pay it much mind though because Sugawara, who usually led the warm ups started moving.

_It hurts._

Hinata was keeping the most neutral expression he could muster, hiding the flinchs his body wanted to make whenever he moved a certain way, specially his hips and legs. Who would've known warm ups could be so painful? Would he be able to hold on during the rest of the two hour practice?

He had to.

He jumped several feet in the air when Tanaka clapped him on the back.

"You left your bento in my desk at lunch Hinata. It's in my bag, remind me to give it to you later"

"Ah-umm yeah, thanks, sorry, right" now that he thought about it, he hadn't had a clue about his bento's whereabouts since eating lunch, not that he'd had time to think about it at all.

"Are you alright there? You're looking a little pale man"

Hinata carefully shrugged his senpai's hand from his shoulder while letting out a nervous laugh.

"Fine, fine. I just have a little stomach ache, that's all"

"Well then, wanna partner up?"

The little spiker nodded and Tanaka ran off to snatch a ball from the cart after they finished their warm ups.

During tosses drills, setters always worked with setters right next to the net, so Kageyama and Sugawara partnered up for the first quarter of practice. Tanaka usually asked Hinata to work with him.

Hinata was glad to notice his arms felt like normal when receiving and passing the ball to Tanaka. The older boy had a powerful arm when he attacked the ball in his direction but as long as Hinata's stance was ready and his arms stretched out in front on him, the ball connected with them and stayed in the air. His body slowly became acostumed to the rhythm of playing.

"Alright, listen up!" Ukai yelled, calling for their attention "We all know our team plays more on the offensive side than anything else, but that means our defense sometimes suffers our neglection"

"Don't I know it" murmured Nishinoya who, as their libero, had to cover not only their backs when they attacked but also step in to help the players that couldn't receive a ball for the life of them. Hinata was one of them. It was certainly a lot of responsability to put on just one player's shoulders.

Their coach sent an annoyed glance at Nishinoya for the interruption but continued his speech either way "For our next game I want us to focus on diving and receiving. So line up! I'll be attacking the ball"

It wasn't the first time they did this drill.

The coach would stand up on a table and attack a number of consecutive balls to only one player on the court. That person had to at least touch and save every attack and make a minimum of 5 good passes towards the setter's zone. One of the setters would be ready to catch the ball and determine if it was a good pass or not.

Hinata wasn't a fan of the drill, being the worst receiver of them all but that was exactly why he needed the drill more than anyone.

He got in line.

Nishinoya always went first, showing off his abilities and raising the bar of expectations really high for the rest of the team. The red head knew not to get in line right after him. Usually that was Daichi's place.

"Rolliiiiiing Thundeeeer!"

Hinata couldn't even find it in himself to gawk at his friend's perfect performance of a rolling save, only managing a small barely amused smile at the theatrics. If the libero missed his usually energetic compliments, he didn't show it.

Daichi was next. Then Tanaka, Tsukishima, Sugawara. One by one his teammates did well enough on the drill, Ukai giving encouragment and directions when needed. He wasn't one to sugar coat things but everyone was used to it by now.

Then came Hinata's turn. He sent a silent thank you to whatever volleyball deity existed up there because it wasn't Kageyama's turn as the setter catching his receives but Sugawara's. Today he didn't need the extra pressure of having his partner glaring daggers at him because his passes were off the mark.

"Ready?" the coach asked, preparing himself to send an attack Hinata's way.

"Yes sir!"

The first ball went directly at him so all he had to do was bend his body down a bit and extend his arms. The ball connected and went flying to Sugawara's raised hands. It was a perfect pass.

Hinata didn't have time to congratulate himself on a great receive when the next ball came hurtling his way. This time though, it was a bit to his left and he didn't react on time. The ball bounced off the floor before he could even move a muscle.

"Come on Hinata! One step and you would've touched it. Move your legs!"

But Ukai's voice sounded far away to him. He was now beginning to understand that the drill would be even harder than any other day, demanding he ran fast from one ball to the next and for him to be hunched in the defensive stance for too long. That made his backside hurt.

Hinata swallowed and nodded. He got ready for the next one.

He managed to touch it but couldn't save the ball, sending it flying towards the nearest wall.

He failed the next one, and the next one.

"Move Hinata! Move!"

The red head was panting. He was slowly getting up from a painful dig when another attack made it his way. He barely had time to cover his face with his hands before the ball impacted with it and the force behind the attack sat him down on his ass. He yelped.

He needed to get up, the next ball would be coming his way soon enough.

Grunting his way through the pain, he regained his position and was finally able to properly receive the attack.

"Second good pass!" someone yelled and Hinata's face fell. He still needed three more good passes to finish the drill. With the amount of missed tries it took to make just two, he was sure to spend at least an hour trying.

He was sweating profusely. He got ready again.

By the time he managed to receive his third good pass, Hinata's legs were shaking.

The rest of the team was encouraging him now. They could all see he was struggling more than usual even if they didn't know why.

He backpedaled when a ball went over his head to the back of the court and threw himself foward with an extended arm. He managed to touch the ball but not save it.

"You'll get the next one Hinata!"

"Come on Hinata! Just two more passes!"

"Come on, stupid!"

_Two more passes, come on_.

He managed the fourth one, if only because the attack went straight at him and he didn't have to move much but the coach wouldn't be so lenient again. He dove, he ran, dove again, got back up. He was exhaused but the fifth pass never came. He was moving slowly, awkwardly. He was hurting but he couldn't call for a stop, he _wouldn't_.

Finally, coach Ukai snapped.

"Enough! We'll leave it at that or practice won't move along. Next one!"

Hinata's eyes dropped in shame and his face heated up with embarrassment. He walked out of the court towards his towel. If anything, he was glad for the oportunity to get himself back together.

Everyone else did the drill in half the time it had taken him.

During the water break, Hinata grabbed his water bottle and stepped outside the gym for some fresh air. He felt hot and sticky with sweat even though practice had barely just started. He didn't know how he was supposed to survive another hour and a half like this. His insides burned, his legs felt like jelly and his head was about to explode. Maybe he shoul've just gone home.

"Oi! You okay?" he didn't need to turn around to know Kageyama was leaning out the gym door, his own water bottle clutched between his hands.

"Peachy" Hinata replied, drying his face with the towel.

"We shoul've practiced earlier. Your receives were awful" the spiker laughed bitterly. Trust Kageyama to be blunt and unforgiving.

"I know" he sighed and turned to walk back into the gym, Kageyema right behind him.

It may not have seemed like it, but Hinata knew Kageyama was worried about him. Okay, maybe not worried but at least slightly concerned about his more than pathetic previous performance. He needed to do better or the setter wouldn't stop pestering him about it.

What was it the raven-haired always liked to say? Work around the block? Well, Hinata needed to learn how to work around the pain.

He could only hope the spiking drill went differently.

It didn't.

The very first toss Kageyama sent his way went flying above his hand, too high for him to reach. After watching the ball bounce hopelessly to the floor, Hinata turned to see a glaring Kageyama raising his hands in frustration.

"What the hell kind of jump was that?"

"Me? What about that toss? It was too high!"

"The toss was perfect. You jumped too low. _You_ didn't reach it"

"My jump was normal you idiot!"

"Not it wasn't. I know how high you can jump dumbass!"

"Is the King reigning on his subjects again?" Tsukishima laughed when he came back from retrieving his own ball to get in line again.

"Shut up jerk!" surprinsingly, it was Hinata who jumped at Tsukishima's insult. He knew how much the word 'King' afected his best friend and no matter how mad he was at the setter for yelling at him, he didn't like the way his face fell whenever their annoying middle blocker decided to throw the word at him.

The outburst on his behalf took Kageyama by surprise enough for him to forget their previous yelling and get back to practice. Hinata walked to the other side of the court to retrieve his ball.

When it was his turn again, he focused on powering his jump so Kageyama wouldn't blame it on him if he missed. He didn't and the satisfaction of hitting the ball spot on brought a wave of energy back to his body. But despite having spiked the ball, Kageyama didn't look happy or even slightly accomplished. In fact, he was sending curious glances his way whenever he managed to hit the ball.

Could it be that he stopped missing because the setter adjusted his tosses to his weak jump and not because he managed to jump any higher?

Hinata shrugged the doubt off. As long as he could keep up with practice and no one thought he was too off his game, then he was safe.

Soon enough, the spiking drill turned into short games of two and three people. Then serves drills and a specific excercise for setters before the team got split up in two groups for a practice match.

Now there was only half an hour left of practice. He could do this, Hinata thought hopefully.

Kageyama didn't use him much for the attacks against the other team, choosing to toss the ball to the wing spiker more often than not or passing the ball over the net himself whenever he spotted an oportunity. The red head thought it was strange but didn't complain about it. He wondered if Kageyama was giving him a reprieve, having noticed how tired he was or if he didn't want to set the ball for him due to his underperformance during practice. He sure hoped it wasn't the latter.

But Hinata was getting impatient. He had learned to appreciate his role as a decoy but nothing beat the feeling of being the one to spike the ball, to earn the point. That's why he began calling out to his partner for tosses. He wanted to be more involved in the game.

Coach Ukai praised him, saying that it was about time he showed up for practice. Hinata didn't get his meaning since he'd been there the entire time, but he took it as motivation to keep going.

Run. Jump. Spike.

Run. Jump. Spike.

It was the same routine, over and over again. Sometimes he jumped from his position at the middle, sometimes he went to the zone behind the setter.

But as the game dragged on, his body began to complain again. Every time he landed from a jump, it took more and more time for him to be ready to go at it again. His reflexes were slowing down. His legs couldn't carry him anymore. Kageyama noticed. Of course he noticed, and Hinata began to miss his tosses again.

It was unnerving, really, the fact his friend wasn't even yelling at him for it. He'd stopped insulting him half way through practice and just resorted to sending him what Hinata interpreted as dissappointed looks. He swore he rathered get yelled at by him than having to endure such a look coming from his scary face.

He didn't want to dissappoint his setter or he risked losing his trust as a player. He couldn't afford that.

_Shit!_

His team was about to do a counterattack when Hinata noticed his legs hadn't responded on time. He began running a fraction of a second too late and if Kageyama tossed the ball to him, he would barely get there in time to touch it.

But what was he thinking, _if_? Of course Kageyama would toss to him because Daichi had received a free ball and the pass was perfect and the other team's blocker was closer to the left zone given how many tosses had gone to that player already and Hinata knew, he knew this was the perfect oportunity for a toss behind the setter, close to the antenna. If he didn't jump now, he wouldn't get there in time.

So Hinata jumped and Kageyama tossed the ball. To him. Just like he had thought. His hand impacted the ball at the highest point of his jump and he sent it flying over the net to the other side of the court. Nishinoya didn't stand a chance. Hinata had spiked without a block in front of him. He'd won the point. He was ecstatic.

He was also very, very stupid.

In order to compensate his late start on the run, Hinata had jumped sideways not halting his approach before lifting himself in the air and so his momentum didn't allow him to land safely back on his feet, instead sending him crashing into the pole.

His right upper arm took the brunt of the impact and the pain was unlike anything he'd ever felt before.

"Hinata!"

Correction: landing on his butt after crashing into the pole was a pain unlike anything he'd ever felt before.

A scream was ripped out of his throat and since he couldn't very well clutch the real source of his pain, he opted to clutch at his arm instead.

Everyone rushed to his side.

"Are you okay? Hinata, Hinata!"

He was panting, eyes screwed shut and forehead digging into the floor to try and ride out the wave of pain assaulting him both from his arm and from behind.

He groaned.

"Urgh! It... hurts. Hurts" his words were almost a whine. A gentle hand landed on his shoulder.

"Calm down. Do you think you can sit up?" It was Takeda-sensei. The red head gathered his courage and slowly pushed himself off the floor and into a sitting position. He winced and internally cried.

"Do you think it's broken?"

Hinata opened his eyes into a slit at the sound of Kageyama's voice right next to his ear. Without him realizing, the other boy had positioned himself right next to him as a wall for him to lean on and only now did he notice that all his weight was in fact resting on Kageyama. But the question hadn't been directed at him, but at their sensei.

"Can you move your arm?" Takeda-sensei asked.

Hinata opened his eyes completely and felt his face flushing in embarrassment at having everyone gathered so close around him, an array of expressions showing on the wide eyed faces of his teammates. He supposed if he'd been in their shoes, he wouldn't have liked to hear one of his friends screaming as if they were being murdered, which was exactly what Hinata had felt like at the moment. He adjusted his posture so he didn't have to lean so much on Kageyama but the other boy merely moved his body alongside his to continue to press it into his own so he could bare the majority of his weight.

"Hinata? Your arm, can you move it?"

The gym was eerily silent, everyone waiting for the spiker to realize someone was talking to him and to answer the question. If he didn't speak now, he would just continue to worry them to the point of thinking he'd hit his head on his way down or something.

He cleared his throat.

"I-I don't know"

Despite the fact it had been the fall more than the crash that had elicited his earlier scream, his arm did hurt something fierce and he had to focus all his thoughts into releasing his clutching hand from the point of impact so his sensei could inspect the damage.

"I think it's just a contusion. If it was broken he wouldn't be able to move it at all"

"Here" out of nowhere, their manager made her way through the sea of players and offered him an ice pack which he gratefully took to put against his arm, hissing at the contact.

"Thank you"

"Alright everyone, back to practice. We'll handle Hinata" the coach said and everyone begrudgingly went back to their positions. Kageyama stayed where he was.

"Can you stand up?" he asked, his face the epitome of control. Hinata nodded and with the help of both the setter and their sensei, he made it all the way to his feet. But Kageyama had to hold him tighter when his legs faltered, the icepack slipping from his fingers to crash on the floor.

He apologized profusely when he regained his footing and together, the three of them made it to a side bench. The ice pack had magically reappeared on his arm, except his friend was the one keeping it there for the time being.

Coach Ukai excused himself to go back to supervising the practice and Takeda-sensei moved to the side to talk to their manager.

Hinata sighed watching everyone play, one of the second years filling in for Kageyama.

"Hinata?" the red head turned his head to lock eyes with his friend "I'm so-"

"Kageyama, you can get back to practice too. I'll stay with Hinata"

Whatever the setter had been about to say was interrupted by their sensei coming back to them. The raven haired boy looked like he wanted to argue for a minute but instead let out a sigh and stood up. He guided Hinata's hand to hold the icepack by himself, frowning at his apparent detachment from the situation. Hinata watched him go and without him understanding exactly why, his eyes began to burn.

He felt alone and isolated, and not because his friends had gone back to practice but because he couldn't tell anyone of them what the real reason for his pain was. His arm was throbbing but the limb had gradually become numb with the help of the ice pack. He agreed with his sensei's assesment, he didn't think it was broken but he would certainly have some impressive bruising in a matter of hours.

No, he wasn't worried about his arm.

He was feeling restless because not playing meant nothing would stop his mind from going back to _that_ moment. During practice he'd managed to keep the event out of his mind even if it was for just a few minutes at a time. During those blissful minutes, he hadn't had to pretend he was okay because his brain hadn't even remembered what had happened.

Now though, sitting on the sidelines with the physical reminder of his attack throbbing _down there_, he couldn't help but feel desperately agitated.

"S-sir?" he called Takeda's attention "If I can't p-practice anymore, can I... can I go home earlier?"

_Please say yes, please say yes_.

"Wouldn't it be better to call your parents and have them pick you up?"

"I just hurt my arm, I can still walk home" he didn't want to worry his parents on top of everyone else.

"Don't you live pretty far away from the school?"

"I-I'll be okay. Just, can I go now?" he was already halfway off his seat.

Takeda-sensei stared at him, debating whether or not to trust he was well enough to get home on his own. Something on his face must have shown his resolve because the man nodded and stood up with him.

"I'll inform coach Ukai and then help you gather your things from the club room"

Hinata sighed in relief.

He slipped out of the gym quickly while the adults talked and slowly made his way to the club room, his sensei joining him just a few minutes later.

They worked in silence. The spiker didn't change out of his practice uniform, merely putting on his jacket and sliding his knee pads to rest on his ankles before stuffing the rest of his belongings into the bag, his sensei offering to carry it all the way to the place Hinata parked his bike every day.

"Make sure to put some more ice on it when you get home"

The red head nodded silently and bowed his head as a sign of gratitud before unchaining his bike and beginning his long walk home.

There was no way he'd be able to ride his bike up and down the mountain. It would hurt too much. So he resigned himself to dragging it along while he oh so slowly put one foot in front of the other and made his way home.

It wasn't until the cool night air blew against his face that he realized there were silent tears running down his face. He didn't bother wiping them away.

The day had been so long. Hinata was exhausted, hurting and trembling but he had to push through. He'd managed to hold on during the whole day and he needed to keep on going.

But how? He thought desperately. How was he supposed to deal with the horrible thing that had been done to him? Should he tell his parents? A teacher? A friend?

But the mere idea of someone finding out made his stomach roll. His attacker's voice echoing in his head.

_Imagine what they would say..._

Hinata couldn't tell anyone. He would have to deal with it on his own.

He didn't know how, he didn't know how long it would take, but he would.

No one would ever find out what happened to him.

No one would ever find out he'd been raped.

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**I apologize for any OOCness on the characters but as you can imagine, the situation calls for some erratic behavior on Hinata's part and some concerned (in his own way) behavior from Kageyama's.**

**I believe this has been the longest chapter to date, so at least I hope the wait was worth it. Do you have any thoughts on the chapter? Remember I accept ideas and suggestions as well as requests from my readers, so make sure to drop a review before you go.**

**Also, thank you so much to everyone who's favorited this story or are now following it. Thank you for reading and remember to stay safe!**


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